Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
