ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
So squirting runs in the family.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
