Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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