She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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