I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
