What a fucking waste of an outfit
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize
