we have pet lesbian snakes
You can't special order awesome
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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