At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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