It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
