I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize