chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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