my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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