i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
