bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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