just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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