Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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