i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
