You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
