I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
