Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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