Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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