dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
