Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
