So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Congratulations! We have a period
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