so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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