lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
All the doctor said was why
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
