these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
