Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
