I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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