You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
