Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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