She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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