i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
