i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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