sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
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