I bet he comes in French.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
