Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
