I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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