genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
