Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
