I smell stomach acid.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Randomize
