This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
