thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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