he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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