I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
