She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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