we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I've blown a few things in my day
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize