I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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