U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
