is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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