I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
