I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
