He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Even my vagina gasped.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
