my vag is so smooth its legendary
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
