Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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