nut hugger
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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