Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
