I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
