Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
