They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
