Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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