sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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