Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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