i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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