captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
