"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
