About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
