Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
