sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Hello my rib-scented angel!
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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