Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
