she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
