My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
