who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
