Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
