someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
